A funny voicemail greeting can bring life back into an otherwise mundane experience. The days of the neutral ‘Hello, you’ve reached 713-555-0000…’ are over!
Funny voicemail greetings on your answering machine may seem small, but once you have personalized your greeting, people will start looking forward to hearing your voice.
What are Voicemail Greetings?
Voicemail greetings are pre-recorded messages that play when someone reaches your voicemail. They provide a brief introduction or instructions for the caller and allow them to leave a message in your absence.
20 Creative and Funny Voicemail Greetings to Try Today
These creative and funny voicemail messages are a great way to leave your caller smiling whenever they call you.
- Hi! I’m available right now but cannot find the phone. Please leave a message and I will call you up as soon as I find it.
- Please leave your name and number – but first, a short algebra quiz: How much is 5Q + 5Q? (Keep a pause so that the caller has time to think) 10Q. You’re welcome!
- Hi! You’ve reached John. If you’re calling to offer me a job as a professional napper, please leave a message. If not, well, I’ll still take your message.
- Hi there! You’ve reached John’s voicemail. I’m currently avoiding all human interaction and living my best life, but I’ll get back to you as soon as I’m done.
- You’ve reached the voicemail of John, also known as the world’s greatest [Your Profession]. If you need my expertise, leave a message and I’ll get back to you.
- Hello. You are talking to a machine. I am capable of receiving messages. My owners do not need siding, windows, or a hot tub, and their carpets are clean. They give to charity through the office and don’t need their picture taken. If you’re still with me, leave your name and number, and they will get back to you.
- You know what I hate about answering machine messages? They go on and on, wasting your time. I mean, all they really need to say is, “We aren’t in. Leave a message.” That’s why I’ve decided to keep mine simple and short. I pledge to you, my caller, that you will never have to suffer through another long answering machine message when you call me.
- Hi. This is John – If you are the phone company, I have already sent the money. If you are my parents, please send money. If you are my financial aid institution, you didn’t lend me enough money. If you are my friend, you owe me money. If you are a female, don’t worry, I have plenty of money.
Be funny, ironic, or outrageous, just don’t be boring. – Larry Kim
5 Examples of Voicemail Greetings
Hi, you’ve reached [your name]. Thanks for calling. I can’t answer your call at the moment, however if you leave your name, number and message, I’ll get back to you as soon I can.
Hi, you’ve reached [name]. I can’t get to the phone right now, but if you need to speak with someone immediately, contact my assistant, [name] at [number]. Otherwise, leave your name, number and message and I’ll get back to you as soon as I can.
Hi, you’ve reached [name] at [company]. I’m sorry I couldn’t take your call at this time, I’m either on another call or away from my desk. Please leave your name, number and reason for calling and I’ll get back to you as soon as possible.
Hi, you’ve called [name] at [company]. Thanks for calling. If you need a quick reply, email me at [email address] and I will reply within 24 hours. Otherwise, if it’s not urgent, leave me a message with your name and number and I’ll get back to you when possible.
Hi, you’ve reached [name] at [company]. I will be out of the office from [date] to [date]. Please leave a brief message and your contact information and I will call you back once I return to the office on [date]. Alternatively, if you need to speak with someone sooner, please contact [colleague’s name] at [phone number or email address]. Thank-you for calling.
How to Create a Voicemail Greeting Audio for Free
- Write a script: Prepare a concise script for your voicemail greeting.
- Find a recording tool: Use a free recording platform such as:
- GarageBand (for Mac users)
- Voice Recorder (built-in app on smartphones)
- Set up your recording environment: Choose a quiet room and use a good quality microphone if available.
- Record your greeting: Speak clearly and confidently into the microphone, following your script.
- Edit and save: Trim any unnecessary parts and export the recording as an audio file (e.g., MP3, WAV).
- Set it as your voicemail greeting: Consult your phone carrier’s instructions for uploading and setting the voicemail greeting audio.
Funniest Voicemail Greetings 2023
Is your voicemail getting boring? If you want to spice things up, let us inspire you with this list of funny things to say on your voicemail!
- You have reached the number you most recently dialed.
- You have reached this mailbox by mistake. Check the Number and call back!
- Who is this?! How did you get this number?!
- Hi! It’s [Your Name Here]! Let’s meet up! I’m close!!! (make running sounds, then cut off).
- Heyyy, (pause) what??, (pause), can you repeat that??, (pause) I’m not here, but you can leave me a message instead.
- Hello? … Yea … Uh huh … Yea … No, you stop yelling at me … Oh, you’re yelling alright … you know what, I’m hanging up … yes, I am … (Beep)
- I’m glad ya called, but I’m not home, but I’ll be back before too long. You gotta wait for the beep; you gotta leave your name, you gotta leave your number, wait for the beep! *BEEP*
- Sorry, I cannot come to the phone. I either do not want to talk, or I’m just preoccupied. I will return your call when it is convenient for me.
- Hi, you have reached (name’s) voicemail. If you want to sell us something, we a) got it at the office, b) already have it, or c) don’t want it. If you’re a friend trying to give us money or want to talk, leave a message or try my cell phone number.
Funny Professional Voicemail Greetings 2023
Bored at the office? Add some flavor to your business voicemail with these funny, professional voicemail greeting ideas.
- Hello, I cannot talk to you at the moment. I will not tell you the reason for not taking your call as… it’s none of your business. Bye.
- Hi there. Thank you for calling me. Please leave your name and message after the beep. I may or may not call you back. If I do call you back, it must be something important. Otherwise, I simply don’t have the energy to waste my breath on trivial matters. Bye.
- Hi, I will not pick up your call as I am not in the mood. You have every right to yell at me for not picking up your call. Your freedom of expression will be respected. Bye.
- Hello! You have reached the mail of Peter Smith, your favorite superhero. I didn’t pick up your call because I was busy saving the day. So drop your name and number, and maybe if we survive doomsday, I will return your call someday.
- This is Bond. James Bond. Okay, it’s really [your last name]. [Your first name] [your last name]. I’ll get back to you as soon as I’m done helping M16 save the world — which will probably be tomorrow at the latest. Have a good day.
- Hi, this is Peter. Obviously, I am not ready to talk to you. Maybe because I am scared of what you would say. Save me the heartache and tell me why you called, and if I don’t faint afterward, I will call you back. Thanks.
- Knock! Knock!! Hello, this is the mailbox of my boss, Mr. P. He is busy figuring out what to tell you. So kindly leave your name, number, and why you called. He will definitely have an answer for you shortly.
- Hi, you have reached the personal number of [insert name]. Please leave your name and message after the beep if it’s something important. Even if you don’t have anything important to say, I would appreciate it if you did say something nice about me that would make my day. Bye.
What is a Good Voicemail Greeting?
A good voicemail greeting should be polite, professional, and friendly. It should also be clear and concise, and provide useful information for the caller. Here are some tips for creating a good voicemail greeting:
- Start with a greeting.
- Introduce yourself.
- Provide a brief message.
- End with a polite closing.
- Keep it concise.
What Should to Say on Voicemail?
When recording a voicemail greeting, keep it concise and provide the necessary information to help callers leave an effective message. Here’s an example in bullet-point format:
- Start with a friendly greeting: “Hello” or “Hi.”
- Introduce yourself: “You’ve reached [Your Name].”
- Apologize for being unavailable: “I’m unable to take your call right now.”
- Offer alternative contact options: “Please leave your name, number, and a brief message, and I’ll get back to you as soon as possible.”
- Set expectations: “If it’s urgent, please consider reaching me through email or text.”
- Express gratitude: “Thank you for calling!”
- Optional: Add a touch of creativity or humor to make it memorable and reflect your personality.
Example: “Hi there! You’ve reached Sarah. I’m sorry I can’t answer right now, but your call is important to me. Please leave your name, number, and a quick message, and I’ll return your call promptly. If it can’t wait, feel free to shoot me a text or email. Thank you, and have an amazing day!”
Cute and Funny Voicemail Greetings 2023
Looking for a cute way to greet your callers when you cannot pick up the phone? Here are some hilarious voicemail messages to inspire you.
- Hey! Its –. Wanna hear a joke?
- Knock, knock!
Not me, so leave a message, and I’ll get back to you as soon as I can!
- Roadside cafe; you kill ‘em, and we cook ‘em. Leave your order, and we’ll get back.
- Hi! It’s [Your Name Here]! Let’s Meet Up! I’m Close!!! (make running sounds, then cut off).
- You have reached the voice mailbox of (your name). If you’re a hot chick/guy, you may leave a message in the tone. If you are one of (your name)’s friends, you may also leave a message in the tone. If you’re not hot and not one of (your name)’s friends, call back when you are.
- (Very long pause) Wait! Please don’t hang up! I want to hear what you have to say.
- Hello? Oh, hey, wait a minute, I can’t hear you… Sorry, hold on… Nope, still can’t hear you. Do you want to know why? Because I’m not here right now. So leave a message at the beep.
- I’ll return your call as soon as possible. I would have answered, but I was already on the phone with Bill Gates – I swear.
- Hello. Oh, hi, how are you? It’s been so long. How have you been? We have to meet this weekend. How about I call you around… beep.
- Hey, sorry I missed you. There may be one of the reasons why I can’t get to the phone: a) I’m with my girl/ guy (laugh), b) I am totally wasted and can’t remember how to use a phone, or c) I just don’t wanna talk to YOU. Leave a message.
Witty and Funny Voicemail Greetings 2023
If you want to set up an amusing voicemail greeting on your answering machine to brighten someone’s day, these witty voicemail messages will be perfect for you.
- I am not in the office today; I may not be in tomorrow. I may come to work sooner if you lend me your car.
- Hi. This is David. I’ve shut the ringers off on my phones and taken a sedative. As soon as I finish this recording, I’m going to bed indefinitely. When I wake up, I’ll play my messages. Please leave one.
- Hi. This is John: If you are the phone company, I have already sent the money. If you are my parents, please send money. If you are my financial aid institution, you didn’t lend me enough money. If you are my friend, you owe me money. If you are a female, don’t worry, I have plenty of money.
- I can’t come to the phone right now because I’m down in the basement printing up a fresh new batch of 20-dollar bills. If you need any money or want to check out my handiwork, please leave your name, number, and how much cash you need after the tone. If you’re from the Department of the Treasury, please ignore this message.
Short Funny Voicemail Greetings 2023
Let’s face it: we all hate long voicemail messages that drag on forever. And we also hate long voicemail greetings. So, here are a few short and sweet ones to use on your answering machine.
- …and I’ll call you back as soon as I put this fire out.
- …and I’ll return your call as soon as possible. Losing your business would make me very sad.
- …If your phone has a Lady Gaga ring-back tone, then I can’t guarantee I’ll wait for you to answer.
- …If you’re Jennifer Lawrence, call my emergency line. (Insert your celebrity crush here.)
- We could be in; we could be out. You could leave us a message and later find out.
- Sorry, we’re not here to lend an ear. Leave a word, and you’ll be heard.
- Hello. I’m David’s answering machine. What are you?
- Hello, (your name) summer home. Some are home; some aren’t. Leave your message at the tone.
Best Funny Voicemail Greetings 2023
Here’s our selection of the best funny voicemail greetings that made us laugh out loud – and we believe they’ll make you laugh too!
- No one answers phone calls anymore; send me a text.
- Who is this?! How did you get this number?!
- Hi! It’s [Your Name Here]! Let’s Meet Up! I’m Close!!! (make running sounds, then cut off).
- Hey, before you leave that message, do you want to know something about me? I love jokes.
- Hello, if you’re hearing this, I’m probably trying to avoid you, so don’t leave a message because nobody likes you.
- Hello? … Yea … Uh huh … Yea … No, you stop yelling at me … Oh, you’re yelling alright … you know what, I’m hanging up … yes, I am … (Beep) –
- Hi, you have reached (names) voicemail. If you want money or to sell us something, we a) have it at the office, b) already have it, or c) don’t want it. If you are a friend trying to give us money or want to talk, leave a message or try my cell phone number.
- I don’t know who you are, and I don’t know what you want. But you can tell me all of that in the message you leave me.
- Hey! It’s (YOUR NAME HERE). So, haha, funny story, my phone and I am playing hide and seek, and it’s winning. I’ll call you back as soon as I find it.
- Do you want to know something I hate? I hate long messages, so why don’t you leave a short one, and I’ll get back to you? If you leave a long one, don’t count on it.
Funny Voicemail Messages for Answering Machine Greetings 2023
Here’s a list of voicemail greetings with a twist: silly, hilarious, and sarcastic messages to make your caller smile, giggle and laugh!
- This is the operator. What number were you trying to dial?
- Hello. Hello. If you’re there, I can’t hear you. Just kidding. Leave a message at the beep.
- Sorry, I can’t get to the phone right now. Leave a message at the beep. (yell to wife in the background) Honey, where did you put the beep?! I can’t find it. Oh, here it is. Sorry, here’s the beep. (beep).
- Sorry, I saw the caller ID and knew it was you. Leave a message.
- Hello, you’ve reached Bill’s Nude Monkey Dancers with Painted Toenails. How I help you today?
- Sorry, I can’t get to the phone right now. Please leave your name and credit card number at the beep.
- Hello. This is a magical voicemail message. Only people I don’t want to talk to can hear it. Abracadabra. Leave a message.
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What is best funny voicemail greeting?
The best funny voicemail greeting will ultimately depend on your personality and the audience you are addressing. Here’s an example of a light-hearted and humorous voicemail greeting:
“Hey there! You’ve reached the voicemail party line of [Your Name]. Sorry I can’t come to the phone right now—I’m probably out dancing or chasing unicorns. Leave a message and join the fun! Just remember, no party poopers allowed. So, leave your name, number, and a quick joke to get on the guest list. Can’t wait to catch up with you! Cheers!”
What is shortest funny voicemail greeting?
“Hey, you’ve reached [Your Name]’s voicemail. Surprise! I’m not here, but your message could be the highlight of my day. Leave it after the beep and let’s make magic happen!”
What is a creative voicemail greeting?
“Welcome to the voicemail wonderland of [Your Name]. Step into a world where imagination knows no bounds. Leave a message that paints a vivid story, shares a secret recipe, or whispers a brilliant idea. The possibilities are endless. Embrace your creativity and let the magic unfold. Leave your masterpiece after the beep, and let’s create something extraordinary together!”
Is it good to have a voicemail greeting?
Yes, it is beneficial to have a voicemail greeting for several reasons. One key reason is:
- Professionalism: A voicemail greeting adds a touch of professionalism to your phone communications. It lets callers know they have reached the right person and sets clear expectations for leaving a message. This can enhance your professional image and help create a positive impression with clients, colleagues, or potential employers.
Having a well-crafted voicemail greeting shows that you are attentive to your communication channels and are committed to providing a seamless experience for callers, even when you are unable to answer their calls.
What are some sweet and short voicemail greetings?
- Hi, you’ve reached [Your Name]. Sorry I can’t answer the phone right now, but leave a message and I’ll get back to you as soon as possible.
- Hello, you’ve reached [Your Name]. I’m not available to take your call right now, but I look forward to talking to you soon. Please leave a message after the tone.
- Hi there, you’ve reached [Your Name]. Thanks for calling! I’m not available at the moment, but please leave a message and I’ll call you back as soon as I can.
- You’ve reached [Your Name]’s voicemail. I’m unable to come to the phone right now, but your message is important to me. Please leave your name, number, and a brief message, and I’ll return your call as soon as possible.
- Hi, it’s [Your Name]. Sorry I missed your call. Please leave a message and I’ll get back to you as soon as I can. Thanks for calling!
Voicemail greetings should be more than just your voice welcoming callers who reach your phone. Try out some of these funny voicemail greetings to brighten up people’s days and make yourself sound more interesting. But be careful – you might soon start receiving more phone calls than ever before!