130+ Funny Facebook Posts and Quotes You Won’t Mind Pinching

If you want to keep your Facebook profile active, one of the best ways to do it is by giving your friends a good laugh. You’ve come to the right place for some funny Facebook posts, sorted into categories to make choosing one more convenient.

Funniest Facebook Posts

Funniest Facebook posts concept, man holding smile face pundulum hit other sad faces.

  • When I don’t need to remember anything, it’s really amazing the things that come to my memory.
  • I hear there is scientific proof that birthdays are good for you: the more you have, the longer you live.
  • Is running late to work considered exercise?
  • I find television very educational. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.
  • The first five days after the weekend are tough.
  • If you are reading this, be happy you know how to read.
  • Whenever I feel all alone in the world, I remind myself that I’m a valued customer at several grocery stores.
  • I was complimented on my driving today. Someone left a note on my windshield that said, “Parking Fine.”
  • You can go anywhere you want if you look serious and carry a clipboard.
  • Google is for my mind, anti-virus to install in my heart.
  • On Facebook, you can talk to a wall.
  • Never let your friends alone. Disturb them always.
  • I wish common sense to be more common.
  • To be successful in life have them: backbone, wishbone, and a funny bone.
  • Think like a proton and stay active.
  • Google should be a woman. It knows everything.

Funny Facebook Posts for Business

  • Aim left if something isn’t right.
  • Eyebrows speak louder than phrases.
  • Post a humorous Facebook status so that at least mosquitoes will like you.
  • My preferred letter for Friday is F.
  • I am able to express myself both physically and in English.
  • Never steal. Government should handle that.
  • Richer is better when it comes to men, coffee, and chocolate.
  • Good day! Now I’m using my brain.
  • Currently busy but always free.
  • Does running away from issues qualify as exercise?
  • Make love, not war; do both, then get married right away.
  • My alarm clock is envious because I love my bed.
  • I get laughed at because I’m unique. They are identical, so I laugh.
  • Life is basically a to-do list that never ends, isn’t it?
  • I am opening a new page in my life. In Facebook.

Funny Facebook Posts about Social Media Platforms

Social media platforms evoke a range of emotions from unhappiness to downright entertainment. Keep your friends amused in the best way possible with one of these funny interactive Facebook posts.

  • “W.T.F.” is WhatsApp, Twitter, and Facebook.
  • Crying? Grab a tissue, not Facebook.
  • Dear Facebook: Please stop asking me what’s on my mind. I’m gonna get myself in trouble if I keep spilling my guts to you.
  • Don’t trust a person with only one Facebook picture.
  • Doncha hate it when someone tags you in a photo you look horrible in because they look so good?
  • Facebook needs three buttons, “Like”, “Dislike” and “Stop being stupid.”
  • Facebook resembles a jail since you write on its wall.
  • I can’t wait for TikTok to reunite me with everyone I’ve blocked on Facebook.
  • I hope I die doing what I love: checking my Facebook notifications while driving.
  • I wouldn’t need Facebook if there was a website that just told me whether or not my exes got fat.
  • I’m sorry that I’m not updating my Facebook status. My cat ate my mouse.
  • If my life was an action movie, my boss would be the spy trying to sabotage my mission, and my mission would be going on Facebook.
  • It’s almost bedtime, so I’ll just check my email, Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, and watch a season of my favorite show on Netflix real quick.
  • That awkward moment when you wave to a stranger on Facebook by accident.
  • What password does Forrest Gump use for his Facebook account? 1forrest1!
  • Why will you see Voldemort on Instagram, but you won’t find him on Facebook? Because he’s got followers, not friends!

Funny Facebook Posts about Politics

Funny Facebook post about politics, Male speaker giving political speech with government building.

  • One upside to the apocalypse would be the end of people arguing politics on Facebook.
  • Good morning people of my country. Tell me, what are we offended by today?
  • We live in a nation where pizza gets to your home sooner than the cops.
  • War doesn’t determine who’s right. It determines who’s left.
  • Remember when game requests were the only things that got you annoyed on your Facebook news feed?
  • Staying connected is more important than making your point.
  • Election season has been a great opportunity to whittle down my Facebook friends.
  • I’m working hard not to offend so many people by unfriending anyone who’s easily offended.

Funny Facebook Posts about Exercise

Exercise might be an important part of your daily routine but there’s no reason not to laugh about it. Poke fun at your own or a Facebook friend’s exercise routine with one of these funny Facebook posts.

  • “I ran a half marathon” sounds so much better than “I quit halfway through a marathon.”
  • Apparently, people will pay to be subjected to medieval torture devices if you call the place a “gym.”
  • I really want to work so hard. But being lazy is so much fun.
  • If your dog is fat, you’re not getting enough exercise.
  • Running is the best way to remind yourself how much you love sitting.
  • The only exercise I’ve done this month is running out of money.
  • What the heck is planking? It’s the parkour of people who can’t move fast.

Funny Facebook Posts about Love

Love is generally a serious business but you can also lighten it up a little with a funny post in your Facebook group. Try one of these cute quotes when love is ailing you.

  • A pair of powerful spectacles has sometimes sufficed to cure a person in love.
  • All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn’t hurt.
  • Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love.
  • Honesty is the key to a relationship. If you can fake that, you’re in.
  • I love being married. It’s so great to find one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
  • Love does not consist of gazing at each other but in looking together in the same direction.
  • Love is a lot like a backache. It doesn’t show up on X-rays, but you know it’s there.
  • Love is the answer, but while you’re waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty interesting questions.
  • Men are from Earth. Women are from Earth. Deal with it.
  • A man is already halfway in love with any woman who listens to him.
  • A relationship should be between two people, not the whole world.
  • For the love of God, single people, stop looking for love, or you’ll end up married.
  • Getting someone a Sonic drink means “I love you” in Texan.
  • I’m going to open a new Facebook account named Anonymous, so all the cool quotes will be attributed to me!
  • If you expect something in return, it’s called business, not love.
  • Love is a long sweet dream & marriage is an alarm clock.
  • Love is like Wi-Fi, you can’t see it, but you know when you’ve lost it.
  • Make love, not war. Or do both and marry today.
  • Never forget that we live in a world in which it is easier to get out of a marriage than a mobile phone contract.
  • Trying to forget someone you love is like trying to remember someone you’ve never met.
  • You love flowers, but you cut them. You love animals, but you eat them. You tell me you love me, so now I’m scared!

Funny Facebook Posts about Family and Friends

Funny Facebook Posts about Family and Friends concept, people are hugging together.

They say you can choose your friends but you can’t choose your family. Let someone know how special they are with one of these funny things to post on Facebook.

  • A good friend would bail you out of jail, but your best friend would be the one sitting next to you saying, “damn, that was awesome.”
  • A grandparent’s house is where cousins become best friends
  • Being my friend is accepting that sometimes I reply to messages in one second and sometimes in 30 days.
  • Everyone has an annoying friend. If you don’t have one, it’s probably you.
  • My best friend is very strange. She says, “I miss you a lot,” and then the next minute, she stops responding for two weeks.
  • My parents never allowed violent video games. Just family-friendly board games with questions like, “Who murdered this guy with a pipe?”
  • Never let your best friends get lonely… Keep disturbing them.
  • One thing horror movies have helped me realize is that as a parent, you definitely want to avoid having demonic children.
  • The best way to teach your kids about taxes is by eating 30% of their ice cream.
  • Two kids is two kids, but three is fifteen.
  • When a cashier asks if you have a rewards card, look down, sigh, and say, “My wife took everything when she left.”
  • When someone rings the doorbell, I say to my kids, “I think it’s Santa Claus!” so I don’t have to get up.
  • You think you love your family, but suddenly there are three of you and one remaining slice of pizza.

Funny Happy Birthday Facebook Posts

  • Thanks for the birthday wishes from everyone who noticed my name today in the upper right corner of your Facebook page.
  • Happy birthday to a sister who has the best sister in the world.
  • Birthdays are good for your health. Studies have shown that people who have more birthdays live the longest.
  • I wish there was an even lazier way than social media to wish you a happy birthday.
  • I almost sent you a real birthday card but thankfully my internet connection came back.
  • Happy 24 hours of constant Facebook notifications day.
  • Happy birthday to one of the few people whose birthday I can remember without a Facebook reminder.
  • I’d bake you a cake today if I knew how to use an oven.
  • I searched a long time to find the perfect birthday card for you but ended up just sending this.

Funny Mother’s Day Facebook Posts

  • You sure do make good-looking babies. Happy Mother’s Day!
  • All mothers have intuition. Great mothers have radar.
  • Happy Mother’s day to all mums! Thank you to all who’ve gone before us & shown the way!
  • If my mom can’t find it, nobody can find it. – Happy Mother’s Day!
  • The heart of a mother is a deep abyss at the bottom of which you will always find forgiveness. ~Honoré de Balzac
  • One of the most important things a father can do for his children is to love their mother.
  • The only time your mom smiled when you were crying – is when you were born. 
  • I hope your mothers day is more pleasant than labor was.
  • Mom, thanks for providing me with love that’s as never-ending as your voicemails.

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Funny Father’s Day Facebook Posts

  • The greatest thing about Father’s Day is paying for all these gifts I didn’t want.
  • Well, an iPad would be nice for Father’s Day, but I’d settle for 10 minutes of damn silence.
  • Why are high-tech gadgets always categorized as “gifts for Dad?” I don’t know about your dad, but my dad can barely work a disposable camera.
  • My Dad sends his love because he thinks I know you all personally.
  • Dad, I love how we don’t even have to say out loud that I’m your favorite.
  • If you’re lucky enough to still have a dad, the best Father’s Day gift would be to call the guy and ask his advice about something. Anything.
  • Dad, it appears your lifelong theory about the entire world going to hell in a handbasket was dead-on.
  •  My Father accused me of Facebooking my life away then he said something else but I didn’t hear him because I was writing this. He’s crazy.

Inspirational and Funny Facebook Quotes

Snarky is fun but every once in a while why not throw something in that’s more sincere? Life is too short so don’t forget to take a break and work on your perspective.

  • “Always forgive your enemies—nothing annoys them so much.” — Oscar Wilde
  • “Common sense and a sense of humor are the same thing, moving at different speeds. A sense of humor is just common sense, dancing.” — William James
  • “Haters are just confused admirers because they can’t figure out the reason why everyone loves you.” — Jeffree Star
  • “I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early.” — Charles Lamb
  • “I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.” — Thomas Edison
  • “I’m in shape. Round is a shape.” — George Carlin
  • ‘I’m sorry; if you were right, I’d agree with you.” — Robin Williams
  • “If any of you cry at my funeral I’ll never speak to you again.” — Stan Laurel
  • “If you live to be one hundred, you’ve got it made. Very few people die past that age.” — George Burns
  • “If you’re going through hell, keep going.” — Winston Churchill
  • “If you’re going to tell people the truth, be funny or they’ll kill you.” — Billy Wilder
  • “It’s amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world every day always just exactly fits the newspaper.’ — Jerry Seinfeld
  • “Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.” — Mark Twain
  • “Whoever said money can’t buy happiness didn’t know where to shop.” — Gertrude Stein

FAQs

How to post funny pictures on Facebook comments?

Click the small camera icon in the comment box of your Facebook page and upload a funny picture from your computer. Alternatively, you can drag and drop your chosen photo directly into the comment box.

Where to find funny pictures to post on Facebook?

There is a wide range of places you can look for free pictures to post on Facebook. For example:

  • Unsplash
  • Freeimages
  • Freerange Stock
  • Google Images
  • New Old Stock
  • Life of Pix
  • Picjumbo
  • Gratisography

Conclusion

There’s no reason for any of your future Facebook posts to be boring or dull. Use this list of Facebook quotes for inspiration or pinch some to spice up your newsfeed.

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